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The mere sound of Jamie's voice made my heart thump wildly. He said he'd like nothing more than to meet me but admitted he still felt scared. "You might not be attracted to me."In hindsight, I should have cut and run right then.

When you discover your husband using online dating sites, you will automatically imagine the worst, that he is following through and is probably meeting other women. That is probably not happening, and it is not too late for your marriage, even if it is. Reactions, as you recall from biology, are instinctive responses with one purpose: to save your life.

This guy had already managed to hurt me, in the space of just two weeks. We spoke for hours about everything, from our damaged childhoods to jobs to exes to first kisses.

Then he'd found me—a woman he might want to have a real relationship with. "Please," he begged, "give me another chance." I hesitated. I'd planned to merely dip my toe in the water, but instead, I cannonballed right in.

In order for a relationship to be healthy, partners must trust that when they set boundaries and are intimate with each other, both people will uphold those boundaries and neither will attempt to hurt the other partner.

Making threats like this is a violation of that trust.

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