We both stand there bare-topped in our jeans and I explain the territory of my chest to him like it’s a map and I’m the tour guide. I am grateful that you seem to trust me enough to take a few first steps in that direction.”I cry when I read this. He understands me.*We make plans to visit a bookstore together in a couple of days, but I back out and tell him I’m feeling like I should slow things down.
I ask if we can reschedule our date to the following week. We lie together in the cocoon of his bunk for five hours and make love for the first time with the wooden bulkhead inches above our heads, and the gentle movement of waves under us.
Once upon a time, women who have survived cancer will tell you, the fact that you’d been through the horror of a diagnosis and surgery was not public information—not at work and certainly not on a first date.My answers: Laundry is my favorite chore, and I’m a breast cancer survivor. The first guy I had sex with after cancer was a beautiful, tattooed philosopher. I’m glad they do, though; now I’m using them to find The One. I have bikini shots on my profile because I’m proud of my body: I want to show my “shark bite”—the scar on my belly from the reconstruction—and my ' Frankenboob,' which used to be higher than the other one but has fallen into place.I was coming out of a sh-tty six months—I’d been diagnosed as stage I, at age 34, and had a right-side mastectomy, chemo, and a new breast reconstructed using tissue from my belly. So when I met this man at a bar on a rare night out with a girlfriend, I was out of practice; my sexuality was asleep. Then he touched my new breast, which I could not and will not ever feel, and I started crying, angry, like, ' Don’t bother! ' He looked me in the eye and said, ' But you remember, right? ' Well, then, close your eyes and remember.' It was the most beautiful thing anyone could have said to me. Guys who read my profile say, ' Congratulations on your survivorship! So I spent a long time searching for a solution, but that's another story.We who want love and acceptance and to know we're okay just as we are. First there's the expanders after surgery to stretch your skin so implants will eventually fit. Then the time comes when you've expanded enough for implants. Try explaining that to the next guy you're dating and want to sleep with. Can you justify when he ghosts - he wasn't the one, it's his loss, I didn't like him that much anyway. Can you believe there is someone out there who will look at you and see you and love what he sees? I am beautiful and I am whole and I am ready for love. Somehow they don't seem to go together, yet they do for millions of women. I was lucky, a double mastectomy, no chemo, no radiation and no drugs. But taking the breasts off a single woman who is actively dating - that's the tough part! You think it's over now and life will go on as before, but it's not. Having a double means you have no more breast tissue which means no more feeling in your breasts. And a bunch of scars that travel across your breasts like a roadmap. This is the time that you have to truly believe in yourself - when he doesn't call you again after you told him, or he can't understand why you won't let him touch you and he thinks you don't like him, or that you're not even worthy of being loved until your body looks nearly perfect again - you have to believe with your entire being that you're still the same loving, giving, fun and sexy girl you were before your breasts were taken off. This is when you find out how truly healthy or truly damaged your self esteem really is. Proven over and over again by my heart that perseveres no matter how hurt or sad or astonished it has been. Strange bedfellows - single, dating and a double mastectomy.'As “brave and beautiful” as my cancer is deemed to have made me I am conscious of the lack of eligible men of my age looking for women of their own age to date.I am loathe to reduce the probabilities by throwing in a minor disfigurement.Yes, we're all eternally grateful to be cancer free, this is a separate issue.This is the issue of life after the surgery and chemo and radiation.