It can become a real preoccupation—it certainly was for me. I was worried about finding the right person, but more than that, I was worried about making a bad decision because of that pressure. I think anything you can do to make your own life as rewarding as it can be in this moment is only going to make you happier now, and it’s only going to make you more attractive. " It just kept coming up in interview after interview. It felt natural." And then they’d backtrack and say, "I know that sounds horrible and like settling.
People kept saying to me, when they were talking about the early stages of dating the person they ended up with, "I just didn’t have that anxiety I had before. When I started seeing my husband, I felt like there was a sincerity from which we were both approaching things. It was something I took seriously because I had heard it over and over again from couples I’d talked to. When I would sit down with couples and ask them why they ended up with this person, I can’t tell you how often they would sort of hem and haw and dance around the subject. I don’t mean it to sound so bad, but that’s the truth." Then they would talk about previous relationships where they felt lightning and they were challenged, but it came with a lot of drama.
So you’ve read his profile, and he seems like a great catch…but how can you be sure?
She spent years covering weddings and relationships for the paper’s On Love column—and all of the conversations about true love that come with that kind of job.
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